A
BAD AMERICAN
The
Problem with Universal Health Care
By: Charlie Spink
The
whole concept of universal health care is utterly ridiculous. If our nation cannot properly insure the 50
million Americans that are either uninsured or under-insured, then how the heck
are we going to insure everybody in the whole universe? Especially with the cavalcade of new planets
that astronomers are always discovering,
universal health care is completely unrealistic.
If
all Americans were equally insured, then that would give the impression that
our nation believes that, “All men are created equal.” Who in their right mind would believe such a
truth to be self-evident?
When
Lionel Richie wrote “The Star Spangled Banner” the line “Land of the free...”
was not written as “Land of the Free Health Care” for a reason. Not only would adding health care make that
note harder to hold, but our founding fathers Benjamin Franklin and Ronald
Reagan didn’t believe that such a system was necessary.
In
a similar vein, when Thomas Jefferson (or TJ Maxxx as he was known in the
Revolutionary-era of the Adult Film Industry) wrote his thesis of the American
Dream as, “Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” he was vague. What he was getting at specifically is that
Americans have the right to Life (the cereal), (to visit the Statue of)
Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness (unless of course they are so happy that
they turn gay...then they shall have no liberties whatsoever).
Those
in the fashion industry may question the homophobia of men who wore tights,
powdered wigs, and make-up. Apparently
the Continental Congress established the “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” policy long
before the Clinton-administration and stuck it into the articles of
Confederation.
Some
of you readers out there may say that I am a bad historian. You may note that universal
health care was not meant to include illegal aliens, let alone space
aliens. Or that Lionel Richie did not
write, “The Star-Spangled Banner.” Or
even that Thomas Jefferson lived in a time before either filmed pornography was
possible or TJ Max retailers had opened their doors, making both of the
aforementioned references completely irrelevant.
Well
sure, I may be a pretty bad historian.
However, if you believe that it is more important to protect the
pocketbooks of the Health Care giants than it is to save the lives of our hard-working
citizens...then you are a Bad American.
PS: Remember Californians, the deadline for Covered California is only two weeks away. So if you don't have health insurance then you'd better sign-up now or you'll be forced to pay a pretty hefty fine come tax-time (which is also just around the corner).
Protect your wallet and the rest of you for that matter.
Sign-up today! If you don't I'll kick your ass and you'll have to pay an arm and a leg out of pocket to get that ass fixed because you'll have no insurance.
