In honor of mine and Kristina’s 4-year-anniversary
I will share with you all how she once did something to me in the shower that
no other woman has ever dared to do.
This act was creative, steamy, and completely blew my mind. For the
first time in my 15 years of being in relationships I let a significant other
co-write a joke with me.
Here's the breakdown. The two of us were in the shower, scrubbing
each other down. I was celebrating my
Irish ancestry by washing myself with a bar of Irish Springs soap (nothing says
Ireland quite like Irish Springs and a bar).
Kristina, who is half-Filipino and half-Italian also likes to stay true
to her heritage which means that she washes herself with a bamboo stick and a
meatball (of course I'm kidding, Italians don't take showers).
We were loofah-ing each other and I don't mean for that to be used as
some kind of innuendo; we were really washing ourselves with a loofah (light
pause for all the ladies to go "Aww".) She has a little tattoo on her
right shoulder blade that I always think will rub off if I scrub it just a
little bit harder (it hasn't worked yet).
While we were in the middle of the
rinsing process she had a marvelously Mitch Hedberg-like moment. As I put down my Head & Shoulders
dandruff shampoo she told me, "You know, I should create my own body wash
to accompany Head & Shoulders...I will call it Knees & Toes."
Cute huh? What can I say; I'm
rubbing off on the young lady. Now,
being the man that I am I took the ball of pun and ran with it. "Yep, and
we can have a permanent special on the body wash: Buy One/Get One Free. That way when people fill up their shopping
cart they'll have: Head & Shoulders, Knees & Toes, Knees and Toes"
(echoing the chorus of the classic children's song).
As a writer and humorist there is no
greater enemy than that of the editor.
The editor’s main purpose in life is to dissect, derail, and destroy
your work.
Much like the dandruff that occupies
the scalp of a Head & Shoulders user, they want to dry things up in your
head until your pieces are flakey at best. The writer would love nothing more
than to just wash their hair of their editor's opinions, in a way that would
give their work greater volume and bounce.
However, we need to realize that the editor is not just trying to
destroy our dreams; they want to challenge us to get better.
I've never let any of my ladies have any say in
what I write or produce until now.
Kristina is the first woman that I have ever let edit my work because I
know deep down that she is not trying to chastise me. Rather she is trying to
challenge me to get better. She may shower me with criticism from time to time,
but every shower of scrutiny helps me clean up my act. She challenges me mentally, and any man that
doesn't want to be challenged mentally is usually a man who is mentally
challenged.
